Thursday, September 6, 2012

A Mother's Desire for Her Children

These last few weeks have been crazy, slightly emotional, and full of firsts/lasts. I find it very hard to believe that my oldest daughter is a senior in high school already. Time really does fly and I look at the wonderfully made, beautifully mature young woman that she has become with awe. She is experiencing a lot of lasts with a few firsts: last first day of regular school, last season of high school volleyball, etc.

As her mother, I feel even more responsibility for her to be launched into the world with the character qualities that I want her to have as well as the moral fiber that will make her a strong, wise young lady. I also feel some difficulty in letting her go to make her own decisions. I have never strived to make all my children's decisions, but guide them to wise decisions. I have had to step in and make decisions for them when they do not appear to be heading the right direction. As they get older, I have felt more compelled to guide them in their decisions to avoid making unwise choices.

Letting go will be hard, but necessary.

I am continually humbled by the fact that someone in the universe gave me four incredibly wonderful blessings. I am humbled by this knowing that when I gave birth to my oldest child, in no way was I parent material. I didn't know the first thing about being a parent or how I wanted to guide my children. For many years, I didn't feel as though I should be their parent. I had many little voices in my head telling me I had no business being a parent and what did I know about it and that I was going to fail them.

I don't know how other parents do this, but for me I need to pray often for confidence, guidance, and wisdom. Especially as my kids have come into their teenage years. I pour so much into these kids that I find it hard to grasp that after 18-19 years, I have to let go of them and hope that they will use everything I tried to instill in them.

Will they be able to thrive in the world after they have left the nest? I certainly aim towards that goal for them. I want them to find what excites them and what they feel is their calling so they can be content with the life that has been given to them. I want them to be secure in themselves to make the best choices for them and those around them.

For now I will try to enjoy the firsts and lasts knowing they will lead to greater things in their lives. I will continue to guide them and love them so they know that their mother is doing what she was called to do:

be their mother.

Thanks for reading! Have a great day!

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