Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Those Tired Days

I am having one of those periods in my life. I call them the "tired days". I am exhausted. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally.

I know I can't be the only one. I know I am not the only one.

These days happen when I have a lot going on in my life, some big decisions that need to be made, some emotional issues to get through, and all I want to do is shut down. I don't want to think, I don't want to do, and I don't want anything.

Well...I do want things. Not exactly things, but things to happen. I just don't want to make the decisions. 

I like living my simple life, even though at the surface that life may not seem simple. I like the decisions I have made thus far and don't want to make the wrong one. That scares me the most - making a wrong decision. I would rather stick my hand in a blender than to make the wrong decision. I get very insecure at the thought of potentially screwing up my life, my kids' lives, and those that are around me.

Having self-confidence has always been an issue for me. Maybe the twelve years of feeling stupid and small when something didn't work out right has contributed to that feeling. When I decided to file for divorce, I felt empowered and confident again for the first time in a long time. Several "tired days" followed, but I felt as though life would be alright again. I hold on to that feeling when I get "tired".

What gets me through the "tired days"? I do allow myself a little shutting down by resting, relaxing, reading and reflecting. I feel as though I need to feed that side of me for a little while so I can feel refreshed and ready to tackle the problems/issues I have going on.

Then I take stock of my life and write down my priorities. I can't emphasize enough how important this is. Write down your priorities for your life, your family, and your home. Often when I write down my priorities, some of my decisions are very easily made. We often get so wrapped up in the details and drama in our lives that we forget what is important to us.

After I do that, I like to seek advice from those I respect, admire, love, and whose counsel makes good sense whether I like or don't like what they are saying. You are going to hear things you don't like or don't make sense to you, but don't throw that counsel away. I find I really need to hear those things because I am so focused in one direction and what I want that I am not thinking clearly about what is best for me or my family.

After I get through those steps, I reflect and make decisions. Sometimes I have to do baby steps in my decisions to make the big ones seem easier, but I make the decisions all the same.

My motto is "I Do What I Can." That applies to all areas of my life. When I am having those "tired days", I do what I can to make the best decision, to have a good day, to get something done at home, and to take care of my family and myself.

We all struggle and we all want to shut down. Just know that you are not alone. Take the steps and work your way out of the "tired days".

Thanks for reading!


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