Thursday, November 7, 2013

Some days and dreams are better than others...

I struggle. We all struggle.

Sometimes the right response to a situation absolutely does not come to me. Sometimes the right thing to say becomes clouded in what I want to say and can't. I am not a good verbal speaker most days. I have a tough time putting my sentences together and making sense. But I can write.

Some days I feel like I am back in junior high. Let me tell y'all - I HATED junior high school. I am still trying to wipe that whole time frame out of my mind 23 years later. The self-doubt, the mocking, the immature having mature feelings, and the feeling like I was going to be a mess are all feelings I don't miss from that time.

I have a serious need to help people because so many people have helped me when I was in need. I have a need to pay forward and bless others with the knowledge I have gained. I get so excited to know that I can help others. For so many years, I didn't feel like I had anything to contribute to the world much less friends and family. Now that I feel like I can, I want to smother everyone in it.

So many people, though, want to take that excitement away. They want to bring me down to their level and make me feel worthless and stupid. They don't like how I handled a situation, how or what I spoke about a subject, what I have done, and where I have been in life. They want to create drama where no drama should exist just because of their ego, pride, self-righteousness, and/or selfishness.

Some people want to get in the way of your dreams because their dreams haven't been realized.

My dream is to write. I don't know most days what I want to write or should write about. Most days I just want to inspire others, whether it is living the frugal dream, being self-sufficient, being self-aware, and/or just to be an encouragement to others. Some days, like today, I just want to write from the heart and tell everyone it will be okay.

It is okay to dream, encourage, and be the person you were created to be.

Others will tramp all over those dreams. They will try to make you feel less than them. Worse than all of that? They will try to give you the practicalities of why your dream is not possible.

In all honesty, nowadays, I use those people to push me to my dream. I want to prove them wrong in a way I couldn't do in junior high. I took the wrong path so many times that I feel I have left is the right path. Will I succeed? No telling. I am writing now and, to me, that is all that counts.

What is your dream?

Thanks for reading!
Erica

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