Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Single Mamas: Life Does Get Better

Dear Single Mamas:

Life Does Get Better.

Someone said this to me when I was going through my divorce and I thought I couldn't be a single mama, full-time working mama, soccer mama, and whatever hat I also needed to wear. I thought life was going to be even harder when I realized I was truly on my own and their father wasn't going to be an active part of their life.

But life got better. And it will for you too.

It is hard to see that when you are knee deep in the trenches. It is hard to see that when you are crying with frustration in bed. It is hard to see that when your child is disappointed and you are powerless to help. It is hard to see that when you are robbing Peter to pay Paul and may need to rob Simon too. It is hard to see that when you have a screaming toddler and impatient, attitude-filled teenager. It is hard to see that when all you need is another person who understands your situation and you think no one does.

Life does get better.

Your children will pass through the stages of life and be off to college before you even realize what happened. Your children will come around you on your lowest day and love you so much you just want to hug them and cry at the same time. Your children will do amazing things and conquer the stereotype of kids who have single parents. Your children will screw up, but learn so much from it that you, yourself, are astounded.

You will go to bed more thankful for your blessings in life that you ever thought possible. You have a great group of family and friends around you that will lift you up, surround you in love, help you in their own special ways, and be there for you in your best and darkest times. Sometimes you find it hard to ask for help or feel helpless, but just ask. Someone will be there for you.

People will talk about you, criticize your parenting, and how you do things. Just ignore them. Most people are going to sit back and admire you for the good job you are doing. You may not know what to say when someone compliments you, but just say thank you. Because there is nothing else to say, but to give thanks.

You may or have already found love again. Hold onto that love with the great strength that exists in your power. Realize that you cannot bring the past into the present so don't bring your old hurts, mistrusts, jealousies, and anger into something that is new and precious. Realize that you are with a new and different person who doesn't deserve that. Give them the chance to prove it.

You are a wonderful person who got dealt a troublesome card, but don't let that card define you. Be the strong woman that we know you are, raise your children the best you can, love ferociously, and leave yesterday where it belongs.

Because life is better. 

Thanks for reading!
Erica

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