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Teenagers and Dating

This is not a topic that comes easily to me. Anyone who knew me 20 years ago will probably not believe how my views on dating have changed. When you have daughters and have to be both parents to those daughters, your attitude changes very quickly.

All I can think about is protect, protect, protect.

Protect their hearts.

Protect their emotions.

Protect their bodies.

All I want is for my daughters is to find the very best man for them. One that will respect them and cherish them as much as I do. One that understands what taking care of them means.

This may seem old-fashioned. This may seem conservative. I can not help what my mothering instincts dictate.

First of all, we do not have dating until they are 16. I think I have made some slips in this area lately and it is time to get back on sturdy footing. No one-on-one dating until 16 and, preferably, not much time spent alone. People will ask why on this part and I know. Too much alone time and they will be tempted to do things that should left until older and, my preference, marriage.

To clear up one thing, I do not think of going out in a group of friends dating. If they have good friends, the friends will keep them company. Thank goodness, my daughters have great friends.

If they are at my house, they will never know what true alone time is. We have too many people running through the house and too little televisions for them to have true alone time. After checking with others, I will allow my daughters to go over to their boyfriend's house when I know someone will be there. In Shali's case, I have been reassured many times they have too much coming and going to for someone to be alone for long!

If I don't have a good feeling about the potential boyfriend, my girls have figured out that I will act on that feeling. I don't mess with my mama instinct. It is usually right.

Some of you will say that I have changed. Some of you will say that I was not like this as a teenager and, therefore, can not be like this as a mother. Most of you did not have your first baby at 18 and your second baby at 19. I knew I played with fire and I knew I was defying my parents. I did it anyway. I was wrong.

I wouldn't change anything about my life because of my kids. They helped me change in ways I could not have imagined. This life has been a hard life and I do not want that for them. They have seen the struggles I have gone through as a parent and caretaker of them. I want much better for them.

To have better for them, I need to protect them. That means having boundaries for dating and protecting their hearts. Our hearts can lead us in very foolish directions and no one understands that until they are much older. As much as I try to explain this to them, they will have to learn some of this for themselves.

But I can be there to protect and to guide. And to love them as I love myself.

Thanks for reading! Have a great night!


  1. Once we have children we have the most important job and that is to give them back to the world as an adult that is responsible, kind and good. You certainly seem to be doing this.


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