Showing posts with label single parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single parenting. Show all posts

Monday, June 13, 2011

Single Parenting

You all knew this subject was going to come up some time, right? You knew I might get on my soapbox and let the world know my opinion about single parenting, right? Actually this might be painless for most of those reading today. 


I am a single parent, not by choice, and due to circumstances I might address another time. While I do miss having the other parent there to help with the joys and burdens of parenting, I don't miss the conflict about how to raise the kids. That is fine with me because I have evolved and changed my mind several times about how I want to raise the kids. At this time, I have found the methods and disciplines that work for our household. We run fairly smoothly most days and I give a lot of credit to my kids for this. 


What I am struggling with, right now, is people's attitudes towards single mothers. We are protrayed as either welfare moms that pop out kids willy-nilly with no regards to the burden on society or we are lazy do-nothings that work and let our kids raise themselves. To me, single parents have a bad enough time trying to do right in our kids' lives without being condemned by others who are ignorant of the situation. 


I know there are single parents out there who fit the aforementioned stereotypes very well. That is shame, but sometimes understandable. The government makes this possible by giving the handouts and keeping them trapped in layers and layers of red tape and feelings of helplessness. Also the lack of decent paying jobs makes the government's role in "helping" the single parents much easier. The lack of church families and societal charities also contribute to this. But I digress.


I struggle with the feelings and emotions that plague most single parents. Am I doing a good enough job? Will my kids be alright? How can I be there for all of them? Am I making the right decisions? What can I do better? We struggle with indecision, worry, anxiety, fears, self-esteem, and more. We don't need society to keep beating those down who try so hard to do what they can for their kids. 


I don't have the answers on how to help single parents. Most days for me, peace comes in the form of encouraging words and watching my kids grow up. Sometimes the adult conversation is a welcome break from thinking about supper, kids' activities, the to-do list, and work. Having family and friends close by helps any single parent. Praying for them can never be underestimated!


I know that becoming self-sufficient is the biggest confidence booster for me in thinking that I will prevail above the attitudes of people in society. Having an emergency fund in place and plenty of food in the house will get us by when tough times and money-short months happen. Knowing I have a garden that will help feed us is an amazing feeling! 


Please support your single parent friends in their journey in life! They need you more than they can ever thank you for! Thanks for reading!


P.S. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to find Shali a new car and only pay cash for it. This is my goal, but we are struggling to find something right now with the resources we have. 

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